


Disposable.

by OthilaOdal



Category: Death Note
Genre: Casual Sex, Falling In Love, Insecurity, M/M, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-17
Updated: 2014-08-17
Packaged: 2018-02-13 13:56:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2153208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OthilaOdal/pseuds/OthilaOdal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The only thing I truly wanted was to not feel so disposable. I felt like the only way to do so was to avoid giving anyone the chance to dispose off me. The first time I was between Mello’s legs I told myself this meant nothing. I was wrong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Disposable.

The only thing I truly wanted was to not feel so disposable. I felt like the only way to do so was to avoid giving anyone the chance to dispose of me. The first time I was between Mello’s legs I told myself this meant nothing.

"Nothing but a good fuck."

….a really good fuck.

The next day, as per ritual, I said “I’ll see you later.” I lied. He meant nothing to me. He kissed me. A good kiss. He was known for being good at this. Girls and boys all over Wammy’s House and the nearby town could all testify. He got around. That’s why I chose him. I assumed he was like me, a tourist, who ventured into people’s lives, a good fuck, a good cup of tea and then disappeared and never spoke to them again.

That’s just what happened. I saw him often at the library, in the playground, somewhere around the house. He was always rushing, always up to something.

Two weeks later he crawled back into bed with me.

"What’re you doing?"

"Sleeping with you." He said. "Is that okay?"

I’ve never been with the same person twice.

"No." I thought.

"Yes." I said.

He kissed me. A good kiss. He was known for being good at this. Girls and boys all over Wammy’s House and the nearby town could all testify.

"Yes." I thought.

"Yes." I said.

I pretended to be asleep the next morning, not knowing how to get rid of him. He left without a word.

The same routine began. I saw him everywhere. He never spoke to me. For some reason, I waited for him to speak to me.

Two weeks later, I woke up thinking he was in bed with me.

He wasn’t.

"No." I thought. "Not this feeling."

The only thing I truly wanted was to not feel so disposable. I’ve never been with the same person twice.

Next week he was in bed with me again. I found myself lost in the way his lips moved when he moaned, when he growled, when he came.

The same routine commenced the next day. He disappeared from my bed and became a face in the crowd again.

I found him in my bed again a week later, and then another week later.

I never said no.

I never thought no.

I saw him the next morning. Idly reading notes over breakfast cereal that spilled out of his spoon before it reached his lips. Those lips…..He was known for being good at kissing. Girls and boys all over Wammy’s House and the nearby town could all testify. He got around. No one meant anything to him. He was like me. I chose him.

I chose wrong.

The dull pain in my chest was proof.

I walked up to him ready to finally break it off.

"The only thing I truly want is to not feel so disposable." I said.

"I know." He smiled. "That’s why we’re perfect for each other. I don’t own you. You don’t own me. No one ever gets disposed of."

He kissed me. A good kiss. He was known for being good at this. Girls and boys all over Wammy’s House and the nearby town could all testify.

If not, I would.


End file.
